When Expectations Are Not Fulfilled: Breaking the Cycle of Dependency
Sep 04, 2024
It’s our decision to become proactive and own up to our innate power.
We often feel that our expectations have not been met and disappointed. Perhaps when people don't do things your way, fail to fulfill your needs, or when life doesn’t unfold as you imagined? This feeling might be familiar to you, and it could be deeply frustrating. But what if there's more to this sensation than meets the eye?γ
From birth, our brains are hardwired to receive care. As infants, we rely entirely on our parents to provide, protect, and nurture us.
This expectation can become deeply ingrained in our brains and linger into adulthood, leading us to subconsciously expect others—such as partners, bosses, or other authority figures—to fulfill our desires. When these expectations aren't met, we feel let down, thinking, "They betrayed me!” “They abandoned me!” or “They don’t understand me!” Holding on to these beliefs leads to a cycle of resentment and disappointment, which can manifest as fear and anxiety.
When you feel this way, it is not your present self reacting. It is the child version of yourself still living in your mind, stuck in old emotional stories. This inner child gets emotionally triggered whenever they feel they are not being taken care of just the way they wish.
Breaking Free from the Cycleγ
Imagine a life where you break free from the unreasonable expectations rooted in childhood dependency and become the driving force behind your own success. Achieving this independence begins with understanding the thought patterns that act as barriers and hold us back. By recognizing that you can achieve your dreams through your own efforts, you can break free from these limitations.
Here are some suggestions:
- Acknowledge Your Expectations: Recognize when you're expecting too much from others and/or yourself. Shifting your mindset begins with awareness.
- Embrace Responsibility: Take ownership of your actions and outcomes. You'll be amazed at how much you can achieve when you rely on your abilities.
- Cultivate Resilience: View failure as a valuable opportunity for growth and learning. Every challenge you encounter is a stepping stone on your path to success.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Recognize and appreciate your accomplishments, no matter how small. Imagine praising your child self, as if you were speaking to your six-year-old self. This practice boosts your confidence and strengthens your belief in your abilities.
- Connect with Others: Surround yourself with people who inspire and challenge you to be your best self.
- Set Up Right Intentions: Regularly self-evaluate your intentions to ensure you are willing to contribute and be helpful to others, focusing on what you can bring to the table rather than what you can get from others or circumstances.
When you stop waiting for others to make things happen for you and start taking action to create the outcomes you desire, you'll realize that the power to change your destiny lies within you.
Thank you for reading. I look forward to seeing us all thrive.
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