โFrom Venting to Victory: Nurturing Your Inner Selfโ
Oct 28, 2024
How to Comfort Your Child Mind and Take Real Steps Forward
Have you ever felt the need to talk to someone just to feel better or gain clarity? While it’s perfectly fine to do so, if you notice that venting your emotions has become a habit—one that drains others’ time and energy—it may be time for an upgrade. What if, instead of looking outward, you saw this as an opportunity to nurture a part of yourself that’s ready to grow and integrate more intimately into your adult self?
Here’s a powerful way to think about it: there are two distinct parts within you. One is the emotional part, which I call the ‘Child Mind,’ and it feels unsettled or even lonely unless someone listens to your feelings. The other is the logical and grounded part of you—the ‘Adult Mind’—which seeks to understand and solve the situation.
When those emotional moments arise, try this simple yet transformative exercise. Close your eyes and imagine your adult self standing in front of you. Now, shift into the child version of yourself—around 3 to 6 years old. It’s usually this Child Mind that craves attention when you feel the urge to talk to someone.
Let this child speak freely. Maybe it says something like, “He said this to me, and it really hurt. I’ve been trying so hard, but...” Keep going: “I felt frustrated. I was sad. No one understands me...” It’s perfectly fine to repeat these thoughts, as it helps you fully acknowledge and release the emotions.
Once these feelings come out, step into your Adult Mind. Imagine listening to your Child Mind’s words, and offer comfort and understanding. You can even record yourself saying soothing, encouraging words like: “I see, that must have been really frustrating. It’s okay to feel sad sometimes. I understand how you’re feeling.”
But don’t stop there. Your Adult Mind has another important role—guiding your Child Mind toward realistic, practical solutions. After acknowledging the emotions, ask yourself: What can I do to solve this? Create a reasonable action plan to override the emotional story and move forward. For example, if your Child Mind is saying, “I feel left out,” your Adult Mind might respond with, “Next time, let’s make sure to express our thoughts directly,” or “Here’s what we can do to improve the situation and enjoy ourselves.”
This is called "self-completion." It’s a process where your Adult Mind steps in to listen, console, comfort, and then provide a practical way forward. By balancing emotional release with logical action, you empower yourself to move beyond the emotional story and take proactive steps.
If you listen to this recording of you talking to your Child Mind every night for about two weeks and implement your action plans, you’ll begin to feel more emotionally complete. Over time, you’ll rely less on others to feel heard, loved, or cared for, and you’ll develop the ability to take control of your own path forward.
Remember, it’s perfectly okay to seek advice when you need help solving a problem—that’s what your Adult Mind is there for. However, this practice of self-completion, combined with creating action plans, will empower you to better manage your emotions and take meaningful steps forward.
Warmly,
Saemi
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