“What You See Isn’t All There Is—Your Brain Is Filtering for Meaning”
May 21, 2025
Why You Keep Craving Attention—And How Your Childhood Still Runs the Show
Have you ever wondered why some people don’t remember much from childhood? It’s not that the memories are gone—the brain simply stores what it considers important.
One of the brain’s key systems, called the RAS (Reticular Activating System), acts as a filter—letting us notice only what aligns with our focus or desires. For example, if someone wants to get pregnant, they start noticing pregnant women everywhere. If you’re considering a new car, suddenly that model is all over the road.
Here’s the surprising part:
The RAS doesn’t just respond to present-day priorities—it’s still largely influenced by the emotional landscape and unmet desires of our childhood self, which I refer to as the Child Mind.
This emotional brain, formed by around age six, holds early longings such as:
“I want to be cared for.” “I want to feel important.” “I want to feel safe.” And especially: “I want attention.”
When that old desire gets stirred, the RAS activates—filtering the world to find ways to fulfill it.
There are typically three ways to receive attention in society:
- By contributing something meaningful
- By becoming a troublemaker
- By becoming a victim or someone to be pitied
There’s nothing wrong with wanting attention—it’s a natural need. But if we unconsciously default to method #2 or #3, learned early in life, we tend to attract painful, disempowering experiences. Even if we never voice it, silently resenting or looking down on close family members often signals that this old pattern is still active.
Complaining, blaming, or retelling our hardships can become a habit. And the RAS? It keeps filtering reality to match—showing us more of the same.
If this message strikes a chord, I invite you to consciously shift to path #1.
Start receiving attention by bringing value and contribution. You’ll notice a powerful change—less anxiety, more confidence, and a brighter reality unfolding.
With warmth and clarity,
Saemi
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